Tuesday, January 31, 2012

THE VISION OF THE END William Booth (1829-1912)

He was founder and first general of the Salvation Army. He had a passionate heart of an evangelist, and felt the special vocation of the poor in London. The structures of the British churches have not been able to find a place for this man and his ministry. Together with his wife, William began an intensive campaign aimed at attainment of the poor in London with the Gospel and meet their practical needs. The Salvation Army William Booth was a huge success, and today operates throughout the world. With a lot of prayers, hard work and perseverance watched many thousands of people coming to Christ and strengthened in the faith.


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During one of my last trip I was led to consider the spiritual condition of the crowds that surround me, people who live independently of his eternal vocation in the most open and shameless rebellion against God. I thought about the millions of people around me, treated drunkenness and pleasures, interests and worries, policies and problems, in many cases ongoing in blasphemy and anger. During these considerations, I had a vision.

I saw a dark, stormy ocean. Hung over it, heavy, dark clouds, and from time to time they clear cut the lightning and thunder rolled. When the howling winds blew, the waves rose and foam. In this ocean I saw a lot of human beings in the vortexes sucked and floating, screaming, squeaking, blaspheming and struggling, and each of them was falling more and more. As I cursed and screamed they were once again elevating the surface, they shouted again, and then drowned, would no longer proceed.

I have also seen emerging from this dark, evil mighty ocean rock, whose top reached higher than the dark clouds hanging over the stormy sea. Around the base of the rock, I saw a flat platform and watched the delight of these poor, struggling, drowning the poor escaping from the ocean and climb the platform. I saw that some of those who have already helped to secure these poor creatures that were still in the water, climb a safe place.

Looking at the more I saw a group of those who survived, using ladders, ropes and boats, struggling to pull out of the water yet. There were also those who jumped into the water without paying attention to the consequences, wanting to save the drowning. I was not sure what made me the most joy - a view of poor people climbing the rock and found a safe place or the dedication of those who were fully committed to efforts to free their comrades.

However, surprised me one thing: even though each of which are on the rock has been rescued from the ocean, nearly everyone seemed to forget about the horror of this darkness and danger, which did not concern them any more. What seemed to me both strange and shocking was the fact that these people have not revealed the absolutely no concern for these poor, lost creatures, who struggled and drowned before their eyes, even though many of them were family members of survivors. This lack of concern was certainly not the result of their ignorance, because they once lived in this situation, regularly attending lectures, where he reported the status of these poor drowning creatures.

While on the platform were busy with different performance characteristics. Some days and nights were involved in their interests by making their savings in banks and vaults. Many spent their time admiring the flowers, paint, playing instruments or imposing nice clothes in the hope that they will be admired.

On the platform were some who were mainly food and drink. Others spent the time to quarrel about the drowning people, discussing what will happen to them in the future, while others rejoiced that it fulfilled its duty towards the lost interest by the organization of religious ceremonies.

Some of the crowd who had found a place of refuge, they found the road leading up the cliffs, to a higher platform located above the layer of clouds hanging our ocean. They had a good view from there to the central part of the land, where they hoped to find someday. At this higher platform, they spent time thinking about pleasant things, congratulating each other this luck that they were rescued from the stormy depths, and singing songs about the joy that will inherit when they are taken to the mainland. All this happened while the masses of struggling, screaming people drowned in the dark, choppy water in the eyes of those who are happy sitting and waiting for the day when they leave the rock.

How much I wanted to see crowds of people involved in the rescue of others, instead of that small handful! The few workers that I have seen, it seemed to do little beyond crying and helping people. Gave themselves up without reserve and stubbornly held around begging people for help. However, this was regarded as nonsense by many normal and religious people. After all, they continued to work, giving everything they had to buy a boat, ropes and other equipment are helpful to save the poor drowning people.

And then I saw something miraculous. Suffering, danger and sorrow of these poor, struggling in the dark sea creatures have caused sorrow in heaven God - touched him so much that he sent a wonderful essence to free them. This one came straight from his palace through the dark clouds, straight into the raging sea between the drowning people. He began to rescue them weeping and tears, until the sweat poured down his pain with the blood. When he took the arms of drowning, trying to put them on a rock, still wept and cried out to the survivors - those who have already been helped blood his hands - to help in this difficult, demanding task, which was to rescue their comrades.

The most frightening thought is that those located on the platform, which called, they were so busy with their own affairs and problems, saving money and pleasures, family and religious obligations, or preparing to travel to the center of the land that did not pay attention call this Being, he loved - the one who himself went down to the sea. When you heard the cry of ignoring them completely or just not pay any attention. And in this way more crowds struggled, cried, and sank into darkness.

And then I saw something that gave me even more terrifying than anything he had ever seen. Some of the people on the platform, previously asked by this great Being, to come and help in this difficult task, all the time praying for that someone to come. Some wanted to come and stay with them by giving time and strength to make them happier. Some wanted to come and help them feel more secure on the rock, as it was known that some went so carelessly that they lost the ground under his feet skidded back into the water. These people met, comprised as high as they could and looking towards the mainland, where they thought that there is a great Idea, shouted: "Come to us! Come and help us. " All this time he was at the bottom, between the struggling, splashed creatures. Surrounding them with their arms trying to pull them, looking imploringly, but to no avail for those in the rock. His voice was hoarse from cries of "Come to me! Come and help me! "

Then I realized this vision. It was quite clear. The sea is the ocean of life - the sea of human existence. Lightning sparks of acquiring the truth coming from the throne of God. Thunder is a distant echo of God's wrath. Countless people who tibia and struggled in agony in the choppy waters, were thousands of thousands of poor sinners from every tribe and tongue and nation.

How is the sea was black! And what multitudes of rich and poor, educated and uneducated were in it all so differently comprehending the circumstances and conditions, but so alike in one thing - all sinners before God, held back by their iniquity, fascinated by some idol, the slaves evil concupiscence, deceived by a cruel enemy of the infinite abyss!

They were similar not only in his iniquity, but if you have not been rescued, including those that drowned going down to the same place. This great, protects the rock represented Calvary, and people are located on it were rescued. The manner in which its energy benefits, gifts and time, showed activities of those who claim to be saved, redeemed from sin and hell, to be followers of Jesus Christ.

This handful of passionate, determined to rescue the soldiers of salvation. Being powerful is the Son of God, the same yesterday, today and forever, which is still struggling to save the dying multitudes from the bottom of this terrible destruction. His voice is still heard over the music, machinery, and rebellion of life, he urges survivors to come and help him save the world.

My friends, you are rescued from the water, you are on a rock. He is in the dark sea calling on you to come help him. Did you go? Raging sea life filled with endangered souls move about to the place where you stand.

Jesus Christ, the Son of God, is in the midst of this decaying crowd, struggling to help them. He calls you, you jumped into the sea, you immediately went over to his side, helping him in his holy struggle. Can you jump? Did you go and give in totally to him? Are you who still linger on the shore, put away his pride, concern for the opinion, the love of all that simple, and other selfish pleasure, where you been so long attached and you run to save the endangered multitude of souls?


Is it a sea swirl does not look scary? Of course, yes. There is no doubt that this act will be for you and for others taking the challenge, marked difficulties, pain and suffering. For some this may mean even more - death. He who calls you into the sea, however, knows what it will mean, and still calls and invites you and me to go.

Satisfaction long enough to secure religion. We already had pleasant feelings, pleasant songs, pleasant meetings and fun ideas. There have been a lot of luck, much clapping of hands and a lot of heaven on earth. And now we go to God and tell Him that we are prepared to, if necessary, to turn away from it all and that we want to spend the rest of my life dealing with the multitude of endangered, regardless of price.


Going down to the dying - this is our calling. Our happiness at this time will consist of share in suffering, our facility will be sharing their pain, wearing the crown of our cross, and our skies will arrive in the same gates of hell to save them.

Did you go?

Monday, January 30, 2012

Entrusting ourselves to Others

Studying this morning I came across a good piece of scripture.

But Jesus did not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men. John 2:24

Some definitions

Entrust: to confide, to deposit for responsibility
Greek paratitheni: to place beside or set before, a banking term "to deposit for safekeeping"
Hebrew להפקיד : deposit

This made me ask How much of ourselves do we give others for safe keeping? How much do you give someone else responsibility for?

Some things you make others responsible for:

1. happiness
2. peace
3. fun

So I would have to say I am guilty of giving someone else the responsibility of keeping me happy. Have you ever done that?

What about peace?? Have you ever said I would have peace if only the kids would listen?

What about fun?? I can't have fun unless your having fun?

A big one I hear all the time is, if moms not happy then no one is happy! How dumb is that??

Those are just a few things that came to mind that I know I have said or ways I have felt. But is it really fair to put that responsibilty on someone else???

No its not and Jesus tells us he did not entrust himself to man at all. Why?? well simply put "he knew all men". So he is talking about the heart of man and whats in our hearts?? Some basic characteristics we all suffer from:

- prideful
- shelfish

so those are 2 that are huge and tells me I do not want to be entrusting any person with me. And is it really fair to entrust someone else with your happiness or peace?? Not really because it is impossible for them to fulfill that.

So thinking about this is there someone in your life you need to release from this responsiblity??

Only God knows what truly makes you happy so we need to be entrusting ourselves to him completely. Not only can man not please us but I think we are doing an injustice to them by giving them the responsibility for things they cannot even control.

Father, I think you for wisdom and knowledge and for Jesus giving us the example of how we should live. Giving us the example of how we can truly be happy, have peace or even have fun. You want only the best for us and I pray anyone who reads this will entrust themselves to you. For you knew the heart of man and it cannot please us. I ask for forgiveness Father for giving others the responsibilty and it was not fair of me to do that. I love you Lord and am thankfully for the revelation of my responsibilites. Thank you Lord! In Jesus name Amen!

Friday, January 27, 2012

Getting Stuck

Have you ever felt stuck? Have you ever felt like God was speaking to you and revelation was coming but then it stopped? Like everything you hear was going over your head? Almost like he stopped speaking to you? I know I have and I am pretty sure its common on the adventure we have with God. Growing up isn't always easy but as I come to know God more and more, I become more responsible for the revelation he has given me.

Knowledge = Responsibility

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. - James 1:22


I don't know about you but I know he corrected me for this one. I was clearly in the scripture that if I had an issue with a brother to leave my offering and go reconcile the situation.

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23-24


Whats interesting is with this scripture there is really no hidden meaning, I think of the parables Jesus spoke in but this is not a parable this is a commandment. There are no options here he says to leave the offering there and take care the situation before coming back.

I read that many times and at that time there was conflict with my sister and I had not spoken to them in 2 years. So first time I read this I knew what God was saying, I really understood, I mean how can you not? I do not think it gets easier to understand than that. So what happened? Now I did not know this at the time, or maybe I did but cannot remember it but I reasoned my way out of it. I actually made excuses as to why its not the right time to make peace with her. "I was not grown up enough in Christ", "There just isn't enough light in me for God to use it" etc etc. I was telling people those things for months!! Oh boy how I was deceiving myself.

One day I was hanging out with the Lord and doing my studies and he told me Jennifer if you do not do the basics of my word then it will hinder our relationship. He said that and the switch goes off, I knew what he was talking about instantly, it didn't matter what lies I had been telling myself I knew what i needed to do. I was really believing the crap I was telling myself and it was like in one ear and out the other when he spoke to me. Now realizing this of course I had to obey and be the peacemaker, humble myself to apologize even if I didn't feel I did anything wrong and not expecting anything from their side.

So I think it took a week or so (maybe longer) but I did it FINALLY! Sent an apology letter and said okay Lord I am sowing that seed and one day it will reap a harvest. So this plant grew faster than expected, took maybe 30 minutes and I got a response. So the harvest was yes lets talk this out. So I wasn't expecting that and was honestly hoping that was going to be a slow moving harvest LOL. To my surprise it was quick, I guess it was time to humble myself. I hear the Spirit say either you humble yourself or I will do it for you. So now I have 2 choices and honestly door number 2 did not sound that great. I was going to do what I was told.

Everything turns out great, God really gave me the strength to do what was necessary and he could not start to repair some relationships. I understood what the pain of dying to self was because I felt it deep within my gut for hours but once it was over I felt God release me from something. Removed a chain and I was fine.

I realized that humbling myself and being the peacemaker allowed God to heal me. I still remember him saying the more you say I am sorry the easier it gets and it was true. Freedom in being the first to say that.

Was it worth dying for?? Yes it was. God knows what we need to do to be happy. His word commands us to do certain things for a reason. I am pretty sure God didn't leave his word for himself so its important we do not just merely listen but do what it says. After all that I am now free, healed, not angry or living with unforgiveness in my heart.

One last thing I want to point out that Jesus said

I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things? - John 3:12


If we cannot do the simple things in His word how can he expect us to do the heavenly things? I think our purpose is much more than the basics, and if he cant trust us with the basics how can he trust us with more?

Monday, January 23, 2012

You Could Not Handle It Right Now

A little note about me I am married to a non-believer so I am sure you can figure this house gets interesting sometimes. God told me long ago I needed to learn to keep my mouth shut, which I must say is not that easy.The scripture I actually keep on my desk is

Set a guard over my mouth O'Lord; Keep watch over the door of my lips. - Psalm 141:3

I also do a lot of confessing and one of my favorites is "I do not always have to be right" and "I do not always have to have the last word". I truly believe God has been helping me with this, even though its not easy and I am definitely not always successfull, I have seen progress! Thank you Lord for changing my heart!

Tonight I got to exercise it, now I did not catch it right away but about a second into it I got it and mouth was shut, told myself "I do not always have to be right" and the sick feelings started to subside. Hallelujah! thank you Jesus, I didnt totally blow this one. So God promised me years ago of his salvation and I have held onto that ever since. As I get closer to God I see the enemy taking him further away. I start to study my bible and he will do something completely opposite, I listen to my sermons he listens to his of course they are opposite. Interesting how the enemy is taking him in the opposite direction but that only means the greater the miracle my God has to perform and I worship the Almighty Jehovah and with Jesus all things are possible so its easy for Him.

So I thought tonight well Lord maybe this year is the year, I can believe it will happen sooner than later. Now I usually don't pray for it I just thank the Lord and it will happen in the right time. So I am thinking yes this is the year and I cannot wait, I will believe for that Lord and I hear the Lord say "You couldnt handle it right now". Now that would not be the first time I feel the Spirit telling me this. I understand most of the authority (not all of it but most) and submitting to your husband. Right now we have complete role reversal in the house and I know I have spirtiual authority but I also know I have a very hard time now even listening or humbling myself, can you imagine when he starts knowing God? I myself know me and we love to take that authority when we learn about it. Just think about it, God says they have to listen to me because I am the head of the house. Serious I have had those thoughts in my head, silly as they are I know what its like to be immature in God and I can admit right here and now I have thought that way. God gave me a beautiful word and I took it and turned it into something selfish. No wonder we look like our enemy sometimes because he was just as selfish.

Anyway I dont feel that way now but it made me think about God's timing and how perfect it is. I believe its not only perfect for that specific person but I also think its perfect for all those around them. If you think about it, it's a lot of work dealing with me but can you imagine 2 people working out their salvation at the same time and at the same level?? I can see how it could be difficult with 2 snot nosed little Christians running around. Not that I wouldn't prefer it but I do believe when it happens it will be perfect for everybody in our house. Until then I hold onto that perfect promist God made me and I will let him use all of this to sharpen and change me. Hey you never know that could be the key to winning him over, a nice loving and submissive wife. That in itself is a miracle but I have the perfect God to do it!

For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. - 1 Corinthians 7:14

I want to leave any person who is married to an unbeliever with this that God spoke to me "You should be honored that God trusted you enough with the unbeliever in hopes that we could be used to win them over to Christ".It's a big job but if you let God just take control the situation can be used to sharpen you and really show you how to love them unconditionally.

Thank you Father for trusting me enough with someone you love so dearly. I ask that anyone who read this blog post and find themself in a similar situation find encouragement that you are the God of Gods, King of Kings and Lord of Lords. That all things are possible for you no matter how dark it may seem. I ask Lord that you speak a promise of salvation for all who read this and show them they are not alone. I love you Father for everything you have done for me and I know and trust that when the day of salvation comes to the non-believers that its the perfect timing for everyone! I love you God more than life itself! Thank you for your love and mercy and I ask you show us how to share that same love and mercy to all we come across. I love you Lord! In Jesus name Amen!

Shekinah Glory Come!

Great song I wanted to share with you!


Thursday, January 19, 2012

A Must Read Counterfeit Conversion by Winkie Pratney

This is a must read, I got through part one and the difference between me now and 2 years ago is in here. I didnt know God's love or even really know him just thought I did. I knew about Jesus but didnt know him and while I am of course still learning I am officially not counterfeit anymore! Thank you Lord for your light and really lifting the veil from my eyes.

Click the link below to read!
http://moh.org/WinkPrat/DTM/CounterfeitConversionPart1.htm

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

God is Love

Hey everyone! Been a few days so I thought I would stop and share some thoughts. I was listening to Winkie Pratney yesterday and a few things just stuck out of my mind. We know God loves us but do we really know how much God loves us?? I think we say yes God loves me but do we really understand??

I know for me it took me a bit but I actually had to accept his love, I didn't think I was worth loving, I would say God loves me but did I really believe it? Not really. Not because he didn't love me but because I couldn't believe anyone could love me in such a way (a lie from the devil). As I have gone on this journey I have discovered his love around every corner.

Winkie was talking about the earth and how it was created and how God spoke everything into existence but why did it take 6 days?? Surely God could have winked his eye, said a few things and it would all be in place. He did that because he loves us so much and he was thinking about us that whole time he was creating it. He thought of every color, every body of water where it began, where it ended, he decided what color the trees would be and what time of the year they would fall. Those are just a few points but think about if it took God 6 days to make all this then he really put his all into it. Science today actually shows how perfect it actually is, did you know if we where any closer to the sun we couldn't live? He picked the perfect place for everything!!! And if he spent 6 days making this beautiful earth and universe with all that thought put into it, how much thought do you think he put into you??

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. - Jeremiah 1:5


God thought about you before Moses walked the earth, God thought about you before Abraham, you where the apple of his eye as He was speaking the world into existence. He knew your hair color, eye color, personality EVERYTHING! What I think is even cooler is our finger prints they are all different, there is no 2 finger prints that are the same. Now what about Jesus?? Jesus was with Him when it was all created and since God already knew what Adam and Eve would do he had already set things in place for the Messiah to come.


You are worthy, our Lord & God, to receive glory & honor & power, for you created all things, & by your will they were created & have their being. - Revelation 4:11


he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure & will ... And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ - Ephesians 1:5,9


God created us for His pleasure! God is pleased with us, not pleased with our sin or things we do but he is pleased with us because of Jesus. God is 100% all LOVE all the time! I have heard many say God gave me this disease to teach me something, God did this to show me that etc etc. No he didn't. Do not forget what happened!

How you have fallen from heaven, O morning star, son of the dawn! You have been cast down to the earth, you who once laid low the nations! You said in your heart, I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High. But you are brought down to the grave, to the depths of the pit. - Isaiah 14:12-16


God cast satan out of heaven and he is roaming around on the earth. God gave man dominion but man gave the dominion over to satan. So satan has dominion over the earth. Do not forget who has dominion. So Jesus was sent to take back dominion, he took back the keys and the authority but you need to use it. If you don't have Jesus then you have no authority, once you get Jesus you get his authority but then you need to learn what it is, how you use it etc etc. Jesus came to fulfill the law but there are still spiritual laws that exist and this is one of them. Man gave dominion to the evil one, man loved the darkness more than light. Evil is around every corner. If you do not know Him then you do not know what you have and how much he loves you.

This is a new thing for me and I have been seeking God diligently for 2 years now every day. I thought God allowed people to get cancer and maybe he would heal them. Jesus NEVER refused to heal anyone, they would say if you are willing and he would say I am willing. Jesus said in the perfect prayer on earth as it is in heaven. Who is sick in heaven? For God so loved the world he gave his only begotten son. If he gave his son to be brutally beaten and murdered for our sins but is giving people cancer?? That doesn't make sense. That sounds like something us humans would do and God is not human he is God.

God loves us soooo much we cannot grasp it! Love when Winkie says "Do you even realize how much God has to dummy things down when he talks to us so we understand?" We think we know better than God. We place anger and blame on God when its the enemy who is doing it. Think we fell into that trap that was laid for us and then I am mad at God for letting it happen. How convenient we get to blame someone else for our choices? Sound familiar? God it was that women you gave me. Let go of everything you think you know about God's love and open your heart for him to show you how he really feels about you. He love us sooooo much its not even funny! He thinks of us daily and he has been since before we where born. God can do anything he wants but he chooses to watch over you, guide you, correct you and clean up after you when you make a mistake.

Sounds a like a good Father to me! :)

Thank you Lord for your everlasting love! The love you showed the Israelites even though they complained all the time, the love you showed by sending your precious Son to the cross for us while we where still sinners, the love you showed by sending your Holy Spirit to live within us so we can have the power and authority to walk in righteousness, the love you show when we can come to know you and talk with you face to face, the love you show by NEVER leaving us or forsaking us and of course the man other occasions we see written in your word. God you are sooooo awesome! Forgive me father for not seeing that before and thank you for the revelation of your love and I ask that everyone who reads this can get revelation also about your love and it draws them into a beautiful encounter with you Lord! I ask this in Jesus name Amen!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

You Better Get Used to it

I just love the Lord so much and I got even more confirmation today that the church I have changed to is the place I am suppose to be. Everything that was said on Sunday is all coming to pass and I am now going through everything the Lord was talking about. The prophets words did not fall to the ground. I knew it was God using him but I crack up when things happen and its totally the same thing you just got revelation about at church. Cool to see that happen, that is what church is about.

Tonight I shared some of my experiences with God and wanted to point some things out about prayer and Gods word, important things I never knew about until years later in my walk with God that was basically sitting with my flesh and not even including God. Come people you know what I am talking about! I know some of you have done the same thing LOL I am not the only weird one.

Some loved the stories and some did not. I was totally rejected. Almost instantly I heard God say "Be Quiet". I kept my mouth shut but it hurt, physically hurt. I just smiled and kept my mouth shut, funny enough more questions kept coming from the to that accepted what was said and someone even said I should be a teacher for the younger kids. I loved hearing that it was cool to see a gift of teaching that God gave me just come through and I said yes kids would be awesome but I am also here for the adults. (I wanted to mention I am only 30 and the youngest one there, former drug addict, porn etc you get the drift the unlikely candidate to be teaching right?)

Someone mentioned the next big wave God is doing will be from unlikely character, LOL I laughed and said yep and part of that army is me, the most unlikely of all. Now here is where the progress is, it did hurt but it wasn't as bad as last time. Muscle is getting stronger to withstand it.

I was on my way home praising God when I heard, Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. - Luke 6:22


So get this I am still sad of course who wants to feel like that but I had a smile on my face. Blessed was me, I had been insulted from Jesus name, I only told the truth and I was not rude, talked about my personal experiences and honestly i was calm when usually I get so excited so this was God all the way baby! I told God, this sucks, I am happy because some received but was sad the others didn't and God said "You better get used to it".


Then God mentioned Luke 4:24 
"I tell you the truth," he continued, "no prophet is accepted in his hometown."


(I knew instantly why I was moved further away to go to church the light balb went off)


I thought of Jesus just then and all he went through just so i could be accepted and I shouted I am accepted and loved by God. I repented for anytime I may have done that or made someone feel like that (because I am sure I have) and I asked that God not hold it against them but grant them revelation and work with them to see the truth.

I thanked God for helping me keep my mouth shut because thats not my strong thing and getting me through it. I guess this seed is being watered and tended to and one day I will see a huge breakthrough and harvest in the area of man pleasing and rejection.

Lord I thank you for being rejected so we could be accepted by you. Lord thank you for giving me the strength to get through it with the least amount of wounds, thank you for helping me not get angry and I ask you change my heart to have compassion for those who reject me because they are really rejecting you. I ask that anyone who read this Lord feel comforted that they are not the only one who goes through it and I ask that anyone who has been rejected for your names sake be comforted because your acceptance and love is enough. Your grace is sufficient for us. I love you Lord soooo much! Give all who read this a hunger for you and your word. in Jesus name Amen!!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

It's Important to Give but Do Not Forget to Receive

So this past Sunday I decide to go to church again at His Way in Orange County. While many said God is practical and they wouldn't do it, I happened to feel God would want me to go and drive to get what I needed. I instantly thought I drive an hour to go to my favorite restaurant, I drive 2 hours to meet with clients, I drive an hour to see my family, so why wouldn't I drive to be in the presence of God?

I find it interesting how much we will do for ourselves but how little we will do for Him, we do not like to be inconvenienced. Anyway I go back down there and boy was it worth it. It was a little different than last time, God's presence came in a different way. (God has been showing me all the ways he manifests Himself so I can learn to recognize it) Praise and worship as usual but this time the air wasn't getting thick, I wasn't feeling the same thing and I thought what is going on? God this is weird. Funny how we think he will always come the same way. Pastor Rob comes up grabs the microphone and says "Did you feel the presence of God just come into the room?" I am like ummm no, then a second later I burst into tears and uncontrollably I start sobbing. Now it was that pain staking sob (you know what I am talking about?) its not something that happens often and definitely not to me, I am one who has a hard time showing emotion in tears let alone I would NEVER do it in public. Rob says "God wants to take over is that okay?" of course we say yes, about that time I noticed others had tears in their eyes, well I guess I did feel when God came in the room but he did not come in the same way as last time.

Rob goes on to talk about the bondage of "Rejection" and how many things we suffer from are because we do not want to be rejected. (Oh probably should mention the girl who sings was saying God was showing her BIG oak trees that where in front of us and God could not get to us so he was going to chop them down with His sword) Me personally it hit hard because I have a problem with "man pleasing spirit and the fear of man". The Lord showed me a few days early that I shut down when certain non believers come into the room and I was devastated and instantly bound up the man pleasing spirit and loosed from heaven the God pleasing spirit in Jesus name. So the root of it all was something I didn't even think about which was rejection. So after all this talk about everything I needed to hear and so did many others in the room, still I was crying but it was time for an altar. Rob said God wanted him to have one so we can give him our fear of rejection and he could in turn give us the acceptance and love from Jesus.

To the praise of the glory of His grace wherein He has made us accepted in the beloved - Ephesians 1:6 KJV

God was telling me I needed to accept his love and acceptance in Jesus name. Jesus was rejected so I could be accepted by God and once I received it I would no longer need to please man but in turn would please God.

Im up front still sobbing away holding my arms up praising His name when I stopped crying, FINALLY! God gave me that seed of acceptance and His love. Up front was the offering bucket and I of course am about to give it all when I hear God say "I know you are willing give but it's time for you to receive".  Finally the title of my blog post makes sense right?? LOL the grand finally of this all is in me seeking and seeking God driving 1 1/12 hrs, making the effort for Him and in turn He really wanted to give something to me.

How awesome is God? We seek and seek Him at any cost and He pays me back with a loosing of a chain? Is it worth it? YES YES YES! I made the right decision and in turn I learned a valuable lesson.

We need to make sure that we are not only giving our all to God but we stop and receive what God wants to give to us. God wants us to have complete freedom in Jesus but I never stopped to receive, I was too busy doing, doing, doing and more doing which there was nothing wrong with it but what happens when you have nothing else to give??? Who is going to refuel you?? Who has unlimited resources?? God!!!! It reminded me of a sermon by Joyce Meyer where she said, God will not require you to give something out until you have received it yourself. You cannot give mercy if you have not received it from God, you cannot give love if you have not received it from God, you cannot give compassion until you get compassion from God and not only receiving it but accepting it. It's all there, God gives it to us in Jesus name for FREE! Have you taken the opportunity to ask God what you have not received or accepted yet? Have you stopped giving for just a moment to see what God wants to give you??

If not then I suggest you do that. If you are like me and just want to help everyone for Jesus sake that's GREAT! I fall more and more in love with God each day and in turn want to do more and more for His kingdom and purpose but you also need to relax and receive from Him. He has many bondage's to break and more and more freedoms to give but if we do not stop for a moment we may miss them or prolong them. Everything in His perfect timing Right!!

Father God I thank you for all the freedoms you give in Jesus name. I thank you Jesus for being rejected so I can be accepted and loved by you. I ask that you make everyone who reads this more aware of not only giving but receiving. A healthy balance of both so you can use each day for your purpose. I love you and thank you for your sacrifice and the cost you paid so I can gain freedom. I love you Lord more and more each day! In Jesus name Amen!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

The Number One Idol In Our Lives??? You

So on Sunday I heard them talking about Jason Upton and of course I had no clue who he was, then my friend says Have you heard Jason Upton?? So I know that's a sign from God you need to find out who this guy is. I downloaded his album on iTunes and this is the first song I heard. God spoke right to me. Listen to the words and I have included them below (not sure how accurate they are because I pulled them from youtube but there close). Lets be truthful here for a moment, we do put our best side on and then what are we like behind closed doors? God sees all and He wants us to give up all idols. Lets get on the threshing floor so He can change us and we can serve Him entirely.

Really let this song penetrate your heart and soul! God wants to use you and He wants you to be part of his army, he tells me all the time "act like a soldier of God". I hope you enjoy this song and I suggest you do on iTunes and download it or more of his albums and let God minister to you with Jason Upton.

You've got your best man on the front side
You always show your best side
And evil's always on the other side
You say this is your strategy
But son I hope you take it from me
You look just like your enemy
You're full of pride
We better trash our idols if we want to be
In the army of the Lord
And the greatest idol is you and me,
We better get on the threshing floor
When will we learn that God's strategy
Is giving glory to the Lord?
We better trash our idols if we want to be
In the army of the Lord

Star how beautiful you shine
You shine more beautiful than mine
You shine from sea to shining sea
World-wide is your strategy
But shinning star I hope you see
If the whole wide world is staring straight at you
They can't see me...





Lord I pray you use this song to penetrate the hearts and souls of your children and expose the main idol in their life which is themselves. We put ourselves before you all the time and I ask you to forgive me and change my heart.. Please help us trash all idols in our lives and I pray anyone who reads and listens to this song will instantly throw themselves before you repenting and then begging to be put on the threshing floor. In Jesus Name Amen!

Friday, January 6, 2012

Interesting Word Study

Good morning everyone!! So this morning I kind of got a little distracted with my study and ended up looking up Greek and Hebrew definitions. This Bible was of course as most of you know not written in English so I like to look up what certain words mean in those languages and I always find it means something different than ours so it helps me get a better understanding of God's word. Now God never contradicts His word but I believe God does not have a problem contradicting our understanding of it. Remember He is God we are sheep (dumb) and I know we think we are so great but He does have to talk down to us.

Anyway back to it, I was looking up for the word Power in Greek and Hebrew and here is what I found.

English: Power - great or marked ability to do, strength, might
Greek: δύναμη (dynami) - miracle, force, effort, strength, vigor, authority
Hebrew: כוח - strength, vigor, force, ability, wealth

So the word I wanted to point out that caught my eye was wealth. One of the definitions of Power in Hebrew is wealth. Makes me want to take another look at a previous verse I posted about.


A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just. - Proverbs 13:22


So if you read the other post I was sharing how the Lord showed me he was not talking about an inheritance of money, that is just our greedy little selfish selves talking but He was talking about spiritual wisdom and learning from the great servants of the Lord that went before us to be passed down from generation to generation.

K so that was a small recap but it made me think about the second statement and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just. Lets go ahead and say it a different way and the power of the sinner is laid up for the just or and the authority of the sinner is laid up for the just, or and the strength of the sinner is laid up for the just.


Now we can use many of those terms in the definitions, but doesn't this scripture look a little different when we are not using money as the definition of the word wealth?? I seriously was blown back when I read the definitions and it just made more sense to me that God would have most likely been referring to the sinners power over the earth (satans power over the earth)  is saved up for the righteous??? This is the old testament so think about it in new testament understanding. Who was righteous? Jesus so lets change how we say it again the power of the sinner is stored up for the righteous Jesus

Jesus takes back the authority from satan so we can have dominion in Jesus name, takes back all authority and power storing it for the righteous. So we are the righteous ones now in Jesus name and we have access to his power anytime.

Funny while I am sitting here writing this its like I get pieces to the revelation, anyone who has had revelation knows it does not always complete at once, we can get fragments depending upon our understanding and where we are on our walk with God so this makes sense in my head but verbalizing it seems to come out a little different.

God is so awesome and I do not mind the fragments because it only makes me search even harder for the answer and what I love about that is the more I search the more I find Him, so thank you Lord for knowing me so well and giving me a great excitement in finding all the mysteries in your word! I love and adore you!

Lord we ask that whoever reads this post you will grant revelation as they read your word Proverbs 13:22. I pray you will give hunger and desire to know you and your word for whoever reads this in Jesus Name. Amen

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

It Costs Something, Are You All In?

God told me months ago "it costs something, are you all in?". This surges through my mind so many times a day and I know its not because I don't understand but because it seems with everything I do am I really putting it all in?? Sometimes it costs with time, money, self, sleep and more but today lets talk about time.

I have discovered that before God really got a hold of me I was walking around thinking about selfish 100% of the time, busy with kids, husband, work etc etc. So because i love the dictionary so much lets go ahead and get the definition. Most think of idolatry in the bible as just worshiping an item or form of God, well while thats also idolatry you will see that more things are idolatry than you know.

Idolatry: excessive or blind adoration, reverence, devotion, etc.

So from the definition you can see that anything you put before God or give more of your time to more than God is idolatry. So folks lets see what we idol, I am going to give you my list and just the stuff off the top of my head that God has shown me I am sure he has more to reveal to me while I go on my adventure.
  1. work
  2. kids
  3. husband
  4. tv
  5. video games
So that is 5 just to name a few and how many of you can say most of those are on your list?? Did you know you are not suppose to put your kids before God? Did you know you are not suppose to put your husband/wife before God? Did you know they can actually become your idols? Did you know it can actually hurt your children if you do not put God first?? God showed me I will become whatever it is I spend the most time with. Who is the best Father ever?? God, Who is the best husband? God, Who is the best friend? God, Who is the best worker? God, God is the best at everything so why wouldn't we want to spend every waking second with him?

Now for all you who are like well I have to work and I cannot ignore my kids or husband,  Yes you are right we have responsibilities and God wants us to handle our responsibilities but who comes first?? Think about it how much stuff you can cram into 1 day and how many times did you stop to thank him for being so awesome, or sing praises to Him? I am sure most people only stop to complain or ask Him for something, i know that's how I was.

How much time do you spend with God every day vs your work? kids? husband? The Lord blessed me with my own business which is a lot of work but God showed me it was never to come before Him. The Lord made sure I stepped out at just the right time where I could only depend on Him. I have no savings, have no clue when people are going to pay, have no business experience etc etc. My business solely functions on God and I ask him advice on everything and I mean everything! I have no clue what I am doing!! When I obeyed God to step out and do this I didn't understand why because it was unreasonable, didn't make sense, how is that possible? I now get it He wanted me to see I needed Him every step of the way, it would not work unless God was in it and He made the impossible possible, it still does not make sense.

He showed me that not spending time with Him means I cannot really know Him and He cannot really change me into a good mother, a good wife, a good boss etc etc, mainly into His image. God wants you to put him first for a reason!! And busy is just an excuse and an excuse is a reason stuffed with a lie (got that from Joyce Meyer love her). 

Matthew 15

8 “‘These people honor me with their lips,  but their hearts are far from me. 


Is that you? That was me and I can imagine many others out there.

How much are you putting into God? Have you paid the price?? Jesus did so we can have a relationship with God, not to merely know "about" Him accept the grace and then go about our business then come crying to him when we need something only to find our prayers unanswered, which is crazy because He was still answering some of my prayers and I totally ignored Him, what an awesome God we have!! Hallelujah! Why do I feel so empty inside Lord aren't you suppose to live in me? I know I am not the only one out there who has been through this or has felt this way so lets get real, are you all in??  His presence costs something!

I was crying a few weeks ago and was totally feeling sorry for myself (selfish) and thought Lord I do not know who I am. You know what he said? He told me " would you exchange knowing who you are for knowing about who I am?" I thought okay and He said "if you do that then you will know who you are in me". I wanted to know who I was in the worlds eyes and God wants me to know who I am in His eyes but I cannot do that without devoting myself to Him entirely.

How much does it cost?? EVERYTHING!!!! Is it worth it?? YES YES YES YES YES! He wants all of your time. He wants you to rise above the rest all the time not just when your christian friends are around or when you go to church on Sunday. He wants you to praise His name all day long and see the beauty of his glory which is in everything on this earth! He wants you to know Him not just know about Him. He wants to visit you and talk face to face just as he did with Moses. The more time you spend with Him the more your face will change and you will actually start to look like Him. And think about this He is God, and I mean God all knowing, all powerful creator and He would do anything to spend time with you. But He will not force you, you have the gift of free will He is just hoping you will give your will back to Him in exchange for His will.

Now you ask where do you start? So I want to share how I started because you have to start somewhere. I used to be a workaholic and as busy as any person on this planet so if I can start and be where I am at now so can you.

Here is what I do and do not think you need to mirror it exactly this is what works for me and its taken time to increase it also so don't feel like you need to live up to someone elses standards, just start somewhere and God can help lead you.
  1. Start Your Morning with Praise and Worship: When you worship him it brings about His presence, I have just recently started spending more time worshiping than praying and its been wonderful (I do this for 30-1 hr) Remember start somewhere even 5 mins, or 1 song, God will help you build it and honestly the more I do it the longer it seems to go but I have been working at this for around 3 years now and it didn't start that way.


  2. Prayer: Here are a few things I suggest you pray for, I didn't understand any of it but God has showed and revealed it to me, so you can say this silly women Lord I read about online said to ask for this and I have no clue about any of it. ( I did this many times because it sounded good but had no clue but God showed me) Prayer time may vary sometimes God doesn't want me to say anything at all and just sit with Him. Sometimes I know I have things to work on and I talk to Him about it.

    A. Ask God to give you a hunger and desire for Him
    B. Ask God to give you a hunger for his word
    C. Ask God for revelation in His word
    D. Ask God to search your heart and reveal some things to work on
    E. Ask God to show you the things that you put before Him
    F. Ask to see the face of God as Moses did
    G. Ask God to show you how to pray
    H. Ask God to start showing you how to hear his voice (this sounds silly but God talks to me often in the shower because that's the time at the end of my loud day that it gets quiet)


  3. Be Honest with God: You need to be honest with Him he knows everything anyway but i found myself keeping things from Him like he didn't know, totally silly but I don't think I am the only one who does that? or am I God? hehehe I tell God when I want to smash someones face in because I am sooooo mad and I ask him to please help me. What you don't think like that sometimes? Probably more than you would want to admit but lets be honest we all have wanted to knock someone out, didn't say you did it but you have thought about it.  Honestly is the best policy to a good relationship.


  4. Study the Bible: Get yourself a good concordance, Bible and dictionary. Pick a word like "Love" and start doing the study on all the verses in the Bible about love. If you are angry pick "Anger". Also take notes God tells us to write it on the tablet of our hearts. When you write things down you will be amazed how they sink in. I spend usually 1 hr plus every day doing this but again start somewhere, 10 min and once God starts revealing things watch out you will find you cannot put his word down and he will start opening doors for you. Watch you will be amazed at what we can do if we just start making the effort.


  5. Reading the Bible: Reading is different, I just read the stories I am not studying just enjoying the stories God has written down in His word. I know when I started doing this it was a snooze feast but then the stories started coming alive after awhile and I could relate to the people in His word. Example: Sarah, Abraham's wife got so impatient waiting for the promised child she gave her husband to another women. Now who in their right mind would do that? She didn't want to wait any longer for her child God promised so she got a bright idea and decided to do something herself. Do you think that's what God wanted? Nope! But how many times do we interfere with God's perfect plan? All the time! The people in the bible may not have had all the fun gadgets we have but people are still people and we all still have the same sin in us.


  6. Meditate on His word, as your studying find a good scripture and start saying it out loud, do it for a week or so and see what happens, you are going to find you have it memorized and it has sunk into your heart.


  7. Get some good teaching CD's I am partial to Joyce Meyer, Bill Johnson, Rob Deluca, I download them in my iTunes, there pod casts are free. Listen to them when your in the car, getting ready you can be hearing the word while you are doing something else and I am sure its better than what you used to listen to.


  8. Talk to God all day long!! He wants to spend time with you while your working, hanging with the kids, friends etc etc. After 3 years of diligently doing these things I find myself constantly thinking about the Lord and in fact I get distracted all the time wanting to look up this scripture, praying, or singing.
If you start to do some of these things I GUARANTEE your life will change but it costs something!! I do this every day and as I get closer to God I find it hard to not want to spend the entire day studying, praying and worshiping!

I wanted to mention that I should be working right now to but I stopped to write this because if God uses it to change just 1 persons life its worth it! He is worth it!! And I want to throw in that I am finally starting to be really healed and happy. (Healed from the inside out)

Lord I pray that whoever reads this is supernaturally touched and is instantly convicted if they do not really know you. I pray these tips change the lives of many and you give anyone who reads this a hunger for you like no other. Show all you reads including myself that your presence and walk costs something and that its worth it! Let them say All in. I love you Father and you amaze me everyday! in Jesus Name Amen! 

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Living On an Inheritance

So I have been thinking a lot lately about my children and how they can learn from my past mistakes. They basically do not need to suffer from drug addiction, sexual addiction, prostitution, pornography and more! (I will post my testimony soon) These things I have already been through and God delivered me from each and every one of them, and my children should naturally inherit my wisdom in those areas and not fall into that at all.

A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just. - Proverbs 13:22

Most people see an inheritance as money or items but I really believe God is talking about wisdom. Most people see prosper as being rich and I think most have it wrong. Nothing wrong with having money and I do not think God wants us to be starving or he wouldn't have promised to take care of us but I think we like to think of the terms inheritance, wealth, prosper into today's uses for it which is money money money.


How much better to get wisdom than gold, to choose understanding rather than silver!- Proverbs 16:16


Spiritual inheritance is more valuable than money, you cannot buy spiritual inheritance and God doesn't seem to talk much about money in the bible being of importance. So some basic definitions below of the terms so we know what they mean in today's world and I say that because if you look at the dictionary from years ago it wasn't like this, its amazing what we have done to the English language but that's off topic.

Definition of Inheritance:

1.something that is or may be inherited;  property passing at the owner's death to the heir or those entitled to succeed; legacy. 
2. the genetic characters transmitted from parent to offspring, taken collectively. 
3. something, as a quality, characteristic, or other immaterial possession, received from progenitors or predecessors as if by succession: an inheritance of family pride.
4. the act or fact of inheriting  by succession, as if by succession, or genetically: to receive property by inheritance.
5. portion; birthright; heritage: Absolute rule was considered the inheritance of kings.


Definition of Wealth:

1. a great quantity or store of money, valuable possessions, property, or other riches: the wealth of a city.
2. an abundance or profusion of anything; plentiful amount: a wealth of imagery. 

Okay so now that we have gotten that all defined out what is the inheritance God is talking about?? So first of course and the most important is the inheritance of Jesus Christ. What did he leave us? So many things I cannot list them here but lets mention a few, forgiveness, redemption, freedom, love, mercy, grace and so on and so on. If we want to get crazy we can talk about everything we inherit when he comes to live inside us. We basically get God's seed implanted in us and have access to all the fruit of the spirit. So can you buy any of those things? Nope and they are worth more than gold or silver.

So moving on finally to the real reason for this post is the spiritual inheritance left for us by the holy men of the past, the followers of God that made a HUGE difference and an outpouring of revival and love where God could really work.

Do you tap into this inheritance? Now I do not come from a church background at all, I was not raised in the church, I knew about Jesus dying for my sins and that was about it. I encountered God in rehab but really knowing God has been only 3 years which honestly the most progress was made in the last 4 months of my life. So that being said I do not have a lot of church experience. Now I started going to church a few years ago and I do not think I have heard once about past preachers who have actually made a difference. Its very rare I get the pastors personal experience in his teachings. I drive down the street finding a church on every corner and I mean every corner and I think man Lord all these churches and we have people starving on the streets??

God prompted me to do study on revival where I was brought to a lovely man named Winkie Pratney and hes just a book of knowledge about past revivalists. Why aren't we all mirroring the great ones of the past? Why do we insist on starting from scratch and finding out for ourselves?? When we do that we are not making any progress for God in this world?? We stay in the same place and isn't satan referred to as a scorpion or snake in the bible? What do those creatures do when they bite????? THEY PARALYZE YOU!!

My plee today God is that you wake up the church, Jesus give us your anti-venom to get us moving again! Learn from our forefathers and actually make some progress in this world! You said you do not want any of your little ones to parish so we need all the churches to come together love Jesus and actually start using the inheritance that was left to us and take back the territory in Jesus name!!!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Happy New Year

So last night I got the pleasure of ringing in the new year at His Way Church OC and it was AWESOME! I have listened to Rob Deluca for awhile now so to be able to actually go and hear him speak was pretty cool. It was everything I could have wanted it to be. Praise and worship was great they just did it until they felt God was done hearing it and man it was powerful. I felt God come into the room his presence was thick and surged through me like electricity.

The words I felt where not even something I can describe to be in the presence of the Lord was the best thing ever. I heard praising His name brings about his presence so I have been spending more time praising Him and less time requesting anything from him and you know he is in the midst every time. So that being said being in a room of worshipers was awesome how could God not show up? I knew if I did it by myself and I feel his tangible presence then I know in a group it would be better and it was. I actually saw a gold dust cloud and I watched it get thicker and thicker and what was funny is it would harder to breathe the thicker it got. God is good!!

About 10 minutes into praise I heard the Lord loud and clear say "Take off your shoes you are on holy ground". WOW! Of course I obeyed and I was honored to be on holy ground! I have to stop and Thank you Lord for making your presence tangible in my life and allowing me to go on holy ground to worship you.

So after an insane praise and worship and a feeling like no other he talks about the new year and what 12 means in God's kingdom, it was really cool, I cannot say I completely understand it but "order" is what I got out of it and that was a word for me. I struggle with chaos in my life, balance is not something I have and have been praying for. Today after I spent my time praising the Lord I decided to write down my goals for 2012 which I will share in the next post.

This feeling of God's presence was amazing and I honestly do not feel it at the church I go to and I do not know what to do about it. I don't think it needs to be this jaw dropping experience every time I step into church on Sunday but I do feel God's presence at all. I do not know what to do. I want to make sure I am where God wants me to be and I feel like I need some guidance. Now I get it from God first and foremost but I feel like I need someone at my church to mentor me. I spoke with my brother and he said ask yourself this, is there anyone at your church who you want to be like? I don't have to think about it I say No! I do not know everyone and there are some nice people but for lack of a better word its conservative. God uses the messages in my life, they teach from the word of God and to be honest I do not know a lot of people so examining fruit makes it difficult. I do know I did not want to get baptized in water there and I have never heard of the baptism of the Holy Spirit taught there. (I got baptized in the Holy Spirit at the Joyce Meyer conference and my life has changed since then my walk with God has been amped up greatly) I do not know everything about the baptism of the Holy Spirit but everything God has shown me is that its a second baptizing of fire and power totally different from asking God to come live in your heart. Sorry for my lack of description but I think you get what I mean. Anyway something is missing from the church I go to and I am thinking its God that's missing.

Anyway it was awesome!

Thank you Father for your presence and allowing me to see your tangible manifestation. I ask that this post bless the reader with a tangible presence for you Jesus. I pray they see and feel your love and it stirs a fire in their belly to seek your face always!