Have you ever just been sitting there and all of a sudden a memory comes out of no where? Its like it was gone and now its back. The memory didn't cross your mind in years and all of the sudden its back. What do you do with this memory? So it happened to me the other day and I must say I was surprised. But I knew if it came to my heart there was a reason for it. So I said okay God is this something I need to address??
I have been working on all my apologies and clearing my conscience of past wrongs toward people and this happened to be one of them. So a secret I had been keeping.
When I was 16 I gave my first born up for adoption, one of the best decisions I had made but a few years later someone brought to my attention another person I was with at a very similar time. This made me question who his biological father really was. So this thought came and went and 14 years later God brought it back to my mind. So what do I do with this? I didn't think it was necessary to tell anyone, why its been 14 years and he has his own family so who care right? (I know it sounds harsh but those where my thoughts) But I really felt the Lord say you do know know 100% and you need to let certain people know about that. So I must say I reasoned with myself for a week trying to find a way out of it but I finally said okay God if I need to address this then I will. So yesterday was that day. I have to tell you it took all day to get the words out of my mouth but I finally did it and it was freeing.
God showed me I was worried about what people thought about me and it wasn't important. If it was important than why did I keep this secret from myself and others? Why couldn't I talk about it?
It had become a stronghold on my life and I didnt even know it, so I had to handle it so I could move on. Honestly I am a bit afraid of what else is hidden in there but I know whatever God reminds me of is for a reason. Its to set me free and humble me in the process.
Are you keeping secrets?? Confession is one of the best ways to address that, let God set you free today!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Coming Into the Light
So Jesus is referred to as light and I wanted to break it down for you a bit since I have been working on certain verses for my bible study.
John 3:19-21
"This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.
Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.
But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."
First off Jesus is speaking in these verses and whenever Jesus speaks we know its important! I always say he was a man of few words but always had a lot to say. He always gets to the point and doesn't mess around with useless babble.
Definition of Light: something that makes things visible or affords illumination (illumination = knowledge, insight, wisdom)
The bible refers to light either by literally like sun gives off light or knowledge or bring something forth so it can be seen. God says in the beginning "God saw the light was good and he separated the light from darkness" - Genesis 1:4
Studying this I started to realize that it all means the same thing. You can see easier during the day because the sun gives off light which is why we stay awake all day and sleep all night right? While the moon also gives off light its not as bright as the sun. We turn on the lights at night why?? so we can see and don't trip on things as we walk around the house. So Jesus is the light of the world and he comes in to shine his light "truth" on us it exposes who we really are on the inside.
Darkness is basically what? ignorance, lack of knowledge etc. We cannot see when its dark in the house right? We wouldn't be able to see the couch or toys on the floor if the lights where out in the house. We turn on the light so we can see whats in our way and we can either pick it up or go around it. So Jesus is the same way except he came for the heart of man. He exposes who we really are inside. Coming into the light allows us to see us for who we really are, allowing us to repent, be forgiven and then being changed by God.
So our heart is the dirty house with no lights, there are toys all over the floor, furniture everywhere, cob webs and dust everywhere. (I think you get the point) Would anyone be able to walk in there while its dark? No because its toxic, we would trip over the toys and probably get bitten by a spider. While its dark though do you see anything wrong with his house?? No because its dark you cannot see anything so you would have no clue about the toys or furniture or bugs. As we move through life in the darkness we trip, stumble, get stung and what about others moving through life with us? same thing they get hurt stumble and get stung. And our thoughts?? We have no clue why but all we know is its not our fault, it was a poor childhood, someone was mean to you, I didn't have as much as some did growing up, I was hurt by my parents, I was hurt by my friend etc etc. While some of our circumstances are not in our control and yes some are worse than others we still cannot blame the way we live/lived on someone else.
Jesus comes in with a light and shines it on the areas that need to be cleaned. Accepting this truth and truly repenting and allowing Jesus to change our dirty heart to a new clean one. Jesus cleans out the old dirty house and makes it a new. Jesus exposes the big furniture in the room and helps us move it out of the way so we can move around without getting hurt or hurting others. But for Jesus to come in with that light that means what? our dirty laundry is exposed. That means we have to deal with the bad choices we have made and the truth about us.
An example: I was rejected by my father when I was younger and he didn't love me the way I needed to be loved. So what did I do? I slept with every guy I could find hoping to feel that love I was missing. I did drugs to numb the pain. I was with women, I did porn, I made money while exposing myself online (online stripper is what they called it then). Did I think any of these things where wrong?? Some I can sadly say yes I knew it was wrong and still did it but I had convinced myself that it was okay to do all of those things. I didn't even really know why I did most of those things, I knew I was running just not sure what I was running from. I hurt every male I came into contact with. I was disconnected and didn't care about anyone else but myself. I liked the older men (looking for that daddy) and treated each one of them like they where garbage. So was my house dirty?? Oh you bet it was no one could come into that place without getting chewed up and spit out. Who was I hurting? Of course myself but we cannot forget each person I came in contact with and lets not forget those that loved me and watched me do this. Most of them still do not know the extent to the things I did.
So I find Jesus and what does he do?? Took that light and showed me the big pieces of furniture sitting around and helped me clean it up. At this point I still did not know why I did any of these things but God brought to light the things that where really big and filthy and dealt with them. Removed them from my life. So this gives me a little wiggle room in my dirty house and I can now was without falling every 2 seconds but its better than before. Is he done? NO WAY! Hes only just begun to clean house. (this was 10 years ago) I didn't really know Jesus at this point, I thought I did but I know now I only knew about him and didnt know him. Many years passed I am now a wife with 3 kids. God gets my attention with a lovely preacher name Joyce Meyer and starts shining some more light. As I get to know him more and more becomes exposed. I get the Holy Spirit and watch out the consuming fire has come to really clean some house. He started showing me what happened and why I did the things I did and then it gets ugly he exposes that I had become the one that hurt me the most. I was doing the same thing to my kids that was done to me. I was grieved, I cried, I was ashamed, I could not believe it. The one who hurt me the most I had become. I confessed this before the Lord pleading for help and you know what he said. "You are forgiven, My grace is enough for you and I can show you how to love." So that truth SUCKED in every way shape or form, I knew nothing about it and hearing it was one of the worst things ever but if God did not shine his light there and expose the truth about me then I would have hurt my kids the same way I was hurt and they would have gone and done the same things I did.
My children would have had the same issues and same dirty house I had and who knows what would have happened. God shed some light with love and mercy and said lets clean this house up and I will show you how to love so the same damage is not done.
So after all that folks the light is truth about us, and the darkness is ignorance about us. Yes ignorance feels better for the moment but it is TOXIC and kills you and everyone around you.
Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.
Your deeds will be exposed by the light of God and it HURTS but only for a moment! Gods gentle loving touch comes right in (if you let him) and sets you free and covers you with the grace and mercy given by the blood of Jesus Christ.
but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.
We love the ignorance because we think we are right, we think we are okay, we think we do not need anyone, we think we are strong, we are full of pride and selfishness, we think its someone elses fault, we think we cannot change, we think we are good most of the time etc etc.
Do not believe the darkness its a LIE!!!! It makes you feel comfortable for a moment but you are toxic on the inside and out. Hurting others and a slave to yourself.
Let the one who saves and shines light set you free!! He wants to! He loves you sooooo much he is knocking on that door hoping you will open it. He is pleading for your life and begging for you to accept his mercy and grace. He wants to bandage up your wounds and show you how to live with joy and peace. He wants to shower you with love and hold you in his arms and tell you its going to be okay. Your maker loves you soooo much and it hurts him to see you this way.
2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
Anyone means you!!!!
Father I pray that anyone who reads this has a revelation of your love and mercy and grace. That no matter what they may have done or are currently doing is not too much to come to you and receive your love. You do not desire anyone to perish and I am truly thankful for your loving, patient, merciful heart toward your children. Jesus I thank you for being the ultimate sacrifice so we can come and get to know the Father intimately and for bandaging up our wounds. You came for the sinner and I pray in Jesus name that anyone reading this right now is hit with the light and throws themselves down at your feet in repentance. And then accepts the loving forgiveness and mercy offered by you for free. You already paid the price so we can be free. Show all who reads this that the light is good and if we repent and receive your mercy we do not have to be ashamed that we are made a new in you. I am ever grateful for your truth and light! Thank you Holy Spirit for guiding me through these hard times of exposure of myself. You always do it little by little and you do it gently, then bind up those wounds and change our hearts more and more. You are the ultimate maid for our dirty hearts and minds and I am thankful for your everlasting grace and love. I love you Lord! in Jesus name Amen!!
John 3:19-21
"This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.
Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.
But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."
First off Jesus is speaking in these verses and whenever Jesus speaks we know its important! I always say he was a man of few words but always had a lot to say. He always gets to the point and doesn't mess around with useless babble.
Definition of Light: something that makes things visible or affords illumination (illumination = knowledge, insight, wisdom)
The bible refers to light either by literally like sun gives off light or knowledge or bring something forth so it can be seen. God says in the beginning "God saw the light was good and he separated the light from darkness" - Genesis 1:4
Studying this I started to realize that it all means the same thing. You can see easier during the day because the sun gives off light which is why we stay awake all day and sleep all night right? While the moon also gives off light its not as bright as the sun. We turn on the lights at night why?? so we can see and don't trip on things as we walk around the house. So Jesus is the light of the world and he comes in to shine his light "truth" on us it exposes who we really are on the inside.
Darkness is basically what? ignorance, lack of knowledge etc. We cannot see when its dark in the house right? We wouldn't be able to see the couch or toys on the floor if the lights where out in the house. We turn on the light so we can see whats in our way and we can either pick it up or go around it. So Jesus is the same way except he came for the heart of man. He exposes who we really are inside. Coming into the light allows us to see us for who we really are, allowing us to repent, be forgiven and then being changed by God.
So our heart is the dirty house with no lights, there are toys all over the floor, furniture everywhere, cob webs and dust everywhere. (I think you get the point) Would anyone be able to walk in there while its dark? No because its toxic, we would trip over the toys and probably get bitten by a spider. While its dark though do you see anything wrong with his house?? No because its dark you cannot see anything so you would have no clue about the toys or furniture or bugs. As we move through life in the darkness we trip, stumble, get stung and what about others moving through life with us? same thing they get hurt stumble and get stung. And our thoughts?? We have no clue why but all we know is its not our fault, it was a poor childhood, someone was mean to you, I didn't have as much as some did growing up, I was hurt by my parents, I was hurt by my friend etc etc. While some of our circumstances are not in our control and yes some are worse than others we still cannot blame the way we live/lived on someone else.
Jesus comes in with a light and shines it on the areas that need to be cleaned. Accepting this truth and truly repenting and allowing Jesus to change our dirty heart to a new clean one. Jesus cleans out the old dirty house and makes it a new. Jesus exposes the big furniture in the room and helps us move it out of the way so we can move around without getting hurt or hurting others. But for Jesus to come in with that light that means what? our dirty laundry is exposed. That means we have to deal with the bad choices we have made and the truth about us.
An example: I was rejected by my father when I was younger and he didn't love me the way I needed to be loved. So what did I do? I slept with every guy I could find hoping to feel that love I was missing. I did drugs to numb the pain. I was with women, I did porn, I made money while exposing myself online (online stripper is what they called it then). Did I think any of these things where wrong?? Some I can sadly say yes I knew it was wrong and still did it but I had convinced myself that it was okay to do all of those things. I didn't even really know why I did most of those things, I knew I was running just not sure what I was running from. I hurt every male I came into contact with. I was disconnected and didn't care about anyone else but myself. I liked the older men (looking for that daddy) and treated each one of them like they where garbage. So was my house dirty?? Oh you bet it was no one could come into that place without getting chewed up and spit out. Who was I hurting? Of course myself but we cannot forget each person I came in contact with and lets not forget those that loved me and watched me do this. Most of them still do not know the extent to the things I did.
So I find Jesus and what does he do?? Took that light and showed me the big pieces of furniture sitting around and helped me clean it up. At this point I still did not know why I did any of these things but God brought to light the things that where really big and filthy and dealt with them. Removed them from my life. So this gives me a little wiggle room in my dirty house and I can now was without falling every 2 seconds but its better than before. Is he done? NO WAY! Hes only just begun to clean house. (this was 10 years ago) I didn't really know Jesus at this point, I thought I did but I know now I only knew about him and didnt know him. Many years passed I am now a wife with 3 kids. God gets my attention with a lovely preacher name Joyce Meyer and starts shining some more light. As I get to know him more and more becomes exposed. I get the Holy Spirit and watch out the consuming fire has come to really clean some house. He started showing me what happened and why I did the things I did and then it gets ugly he exposes that I had become the one that hurt me the most. I was doing the same thing to my kids that was done to me. I was grieved, I cried, I was ashamed, I could not believe it. The one who hurt me the most I had become. I confessed this before the Lord pleading for help and you know what he said. "You are forgiven, My grace is enough for you and I can show you how to love." So that truth SUCKED in every way shape or form, I knew nothing about it and hearing it was one of the worst things ever but if God did not shine his light there and expose the truth about me then I would have hurt my kids the same way I was hurt and they would have gone and done the same things I did.
My children would have had the same issues and same dirty house I had and who knows what would have happened. God shed some light with love and mercy and said lets clean this house up and I will show you how to love so the same damage is not done.
So after all that folks the light is truth about us, and the darkness is ignorance about us. Yes ignorance feels better for the moment but it is TOXIC and kills you and everyone around you.
Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.
Your deeds will be exposed by the light of God and it HURTS but only for a moment! Gods gentle loving touch comes right in (if you let him) and sets you free and covers you with the grace and mercy given by the blood of Jesus Christ.
but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.
We love the ignorance because we think we are right, we think we are okay, we think we do not need anyone, we think we are strong, we are full of pride and selfishness, we think its someone elses fault, we think we cannot change, we think we are good most of the time etc etc.
Do not believe the darkness its a LIE!!!! It makes you feel comfortable for a moment but you are toxic on the inside and out. Hurting others and a slave to yourself.
Let the one who saves and shines light set you free!! He wants to! He loves you sooooo much he is knocking on that door hoping you will open it. He is pleading for your life and begging for you to accept his mercy and grace. He wants to bandage up your wounds and show you how to live with joy and peace. He wants to shower you with love and hold you in his arms and tell you its going to be okay. Your maker loves you soooo much and it hurts him to see you this way.
2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
Anyone means you!!!!
Father I pray that anyone who reads this has a revelation of your love and mercy and grace. That no matter what they may have done or are currently doing is not too much to come to you and receive your love. You do not desire anyone to perish and I am truly thankful for your loving, patient, merciful heart toward your children. Jesus I thank you for being the ultimate sacrifice so we can come and get to know the Father intimately and for bandaging up our wounds. You came for the sinner and I pray in Jesus name that anyone reading this right now is hit with the light and throws themselves down at your feet in repentance. And then accepts the loving forgiveness and mercy offered by you for free. You already paid the price so we can be free. Show all who reads this that the light is good and if we repent and receive your mercy we do not have to be ashamed that we are made a new in you. I am ever grateful for your truth and light! Thank you Holy Spirit for guiding me through these hard times of exposure of myself. You always do it little by little and you do it gently, then bind up those wounds and change our hearts more and more. You are the ultimate maid for our dirty hearts and minds and I am thankful for your everlasting grace and love. I love you Lord! in Jesus name Amen!!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Speak of What You know
Doing a bible study this morning and decided to break down a few things in one verse so I figured I would share.
I have been reading in John and breaking all the verses down, Jesus was witnessing to people and I believe how he did it is exactly how he wants us to do it so its important to follow his example.
John 3:11
I tell you the truth, we speak of what we know, and we testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony.
So lets break down in our own words here what Jesus was saying.
1. I tell you the truth - simple one here we should always be speaking the truth when witnessing or speaking to someone about God. There is no need to exaggerate anything in our experiences with God. The truth is enough.
2. we speak of what we know - So I love this one, we only need to speak of what we know to be true, this means it is okay if talking to someone and you do not have the answer to say "I do not know". I think sometimes we feel as Christians we should always have the answers well this clearly tells me that I do not always have the answer. Only speaking of what you know is fine and sometimes I feel like I do not know enough to actually go out and be a witness and that is not true. If you are speaking to someone who doesn't know Jesus then you know more then them. New Christians like 2 minutes old can be share the good news and think about all the people Jesus healed how they ran off to tell everyone.
3. we testify to what we have seen - Easy one again, its okay to share what you have seen. Jesus showed me the outline of his face one night and boy was I amazed, excited, in awe and speechless. I tell everyone about it and most just think I am crazy but I do not care. I know what I saw and you would be shouting it from the roof tops also if you saw it. So do not be afraid to tell of what you have seen, some people have seen God do some beautiful miracles and I think its important we share them with others. Your personal testimony is important to talk about, a transformation of life is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen so share away about your transformation.
4. but still you people do not accept our testimony - after all you have shared it is still possible that they will not believe you. If they did not believe Jesus here then its safe to assume you will go through the same thing. I know many have thought I was a little crazy but that's okay. I know what I have seen, I know what I know and its not my job to make them believe me.
We are commanded to go out and preach the good news and I know I have made it more difficult than it has to be. I think Jesus makes it simple in this passage when it comes to sharing. Keep it honest, share what you know, share what you have seen.
I have been reading in John and breaking all the verses down, Jesus was witnessing to people and I believe how he did it is exactly how he wants us to do it so its important to follow his example.
John 3:11
I tell you the truth, we speak of what we know, and we testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony.
So lets break down in our own words here what Jesus was saying.
1. I tell you the truth - simple one here we should always be speaking the truth when witnessing or speaking to someone about God. There is no need to exaggerate anything in our experiences with God. The truth is enough.
2. we speak of what we know - So I love this one, we only need to speak of what we know to be true, this means it is okay if talking to someone and you do not have the answer to say "I do not know". I think sometimes we feel as Christians we should always have the answers well this clearly tells me that I do not always have the answer. Only speaking of what you know is fine and sometimes I feel like I do not know enough to actually go out and be a witness and that is not true. If you are speaking to someone who doesn't know Jesus then you know more then them. New Christians like 2 minutes old can be share the good news and think about all the people Jesus healed how they ran off to tell everyone.
3. we testify to what we have seen - Easy one again, its okay to share what you have seen. Jesus showed me the outline of his face one night and boy was I amazed, excited, in awe and speechless. I tell everyone about it and most just think I am crazy but I do not care. I know what I saw and you would be shouting it from the roof tops also if you saw it. So do not be afraid to tell of what you have seen, some people have seen God do some beautiful miracles and I think its important we share them with others. Your personal testimony is important to talk about, a transformation of life is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen so share away about your transformation.
4. but still you people do not accept our testimony - after all you have shared it is still possible that they will not believe you. If they did not believe Jesus here then its safe to assume you will go through the same thing. I know many have thought I was a little crazy but that's okay. I know what I have seen, I know what I know and its not my job to make them believe me.
We are commanded to go out and preach the good news and I know I have made it more difficult than it has to be. I think Jesus makes it simple in this passage when it comes to sharing. Keep it honest, share what you know, share what you have seen.
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