I was woken up really early (not a morning person at all) by my husband waking up the kids. I wasn't happy they where sound asleep. I was instantly mad and of course throwing a fit. I was okay with them waking me up to find santa had come but dad waking everyone up ummmm not what I wanted. So starting the day out bad means its going to be hard to shake this off. Irritation in the morning is the devil making a bid for my mind in hopes that my day will be ruined. Well I wish I could say I didn't fall into that temptation but I did. Tumbled over into that pit and didn't come out of it.
So the devil throws me a pity party and I attended with my pity party hat on. I didn't enjoy opening presents or watching the kids open them and all my presents well of course I took them all personal and wasn't happy. I could see this day was going to be fun. Now onto the struggle to take back what I had given away.
Makes me go back to where the battle originally started, God made man in his image, gave them complete dominion over all the earth and everything in it. Well one little questioning by the devil and they handed their authority over to satan and falled into sin. We are presented daily with ways to question God and a trap set before us so we are constantly faced with giving our authority back over to satan.
Genesis 3:1-6
1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" 2 The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.' " 4 "You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. 5 "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." 6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
My authority (which was given back to me through Jesus Christ our savior) was now handed back to satan and my challenge was how do I get it back? I felt soooo sad crying uncontrollably at times and helpless. But was I helpless?? I believed I was. I really felt the Lord telling me he was pruning me. I had been making some good progress in my adventure with him and he always rewards progress with more pruning. God wants us to be able to handle his blessings but before that happens you must lose more of yourself and we all know that sucks cause it hurts. So I am not going to let this ruin my Xmas but now I am faced with this confusion (confusion is so not of God) is God pruning me? or is satan just tormenting me? So the pity party went on all day and I was a mess. I tend to clean during my pity parties while everyone else is having fun, I guess I think everyone else in the house should be as miserable as I am. So cleaning went on all day! (Probably should mention I own my own business and work a lot so down time is important and cleaning is not down town lol)
Finally I took a shower and decided its time to take back control, I was determined to have a better night. I get out of the shower feeling refreshed only to find myself vacuuming a few minutes later. I hear the Spirit say "haven't you vacuumed 3 times today?" Texting one of my christian friends he starts to share some of his insight from his personal experiences. Him and I are a lot alike and hes been on his adventure with God longer than I have so he is definitely a divine person in my life God uses to help me out. So of course he starts talking about doing too much and how down time is needed. Ummmm wow thanks Lord you just asked me about vacuuming for the 3rd time so this is really for me! I had worn myself out and had not stopped at all. I seem to be always working and have a hard time even stopping cause there is so much more to do. But isn't there always something to do? Don't we have to make the decision to actually say No to something and sit and relax? I had been given choices many days before only to continue to get busier and busier doing waaaay too much. Thinking about it God had warned me before and this is the result I have from not listening. Because I was tired I threw a fit when I was woken up then a pity party feeling sorry for myself only to clean believing the lies that it couldn't be done later making myself more tired and trying to make everyone else feel bad for me ruining their day. I was jealous they where having fun and not miserable with me. But the sad thing was I know I hurt my husbands feelings because I really bashed all the gifts he got me. So now I feel bad because in the end I did end up making them all feel bad for me making their day worse. See the chain reaction?? Luckily by His grace I am forgiven and I can move onto another day.
Woke up the next day (slept in on a Monday that's right finally took the Lords advice to rest) spoke to my lovely friend who tells me something he heard that morning. The preacher says his daughter has a headache, she tells him she believes God has healed her headache but it still hurts. Dad says well which reality do you believe more? Do you believe God healed you even if it still hurts?
So to me this speaks volumes because God always tells me do you believe me or him? You cannot believe both. So she believed she was healed but because the devil comes in and says "it still hurts did he really heal you??" causes doubt and then what?? you give your authority back to him once again. This is what happens all day long and every day of our lives.
Who do you believe?? Your reality is going to reflect it!! Do you have a kingdom reality?? or do you believe the lies of satan and live in his reality??
Remember you cannot believe both!! You have a choice, Choose Life, Choose God!
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