Dec 24, 2011

I have prepared with a few others a Xmas at the homeless shelter and today was the day to do it. I couldnt wait to see what God would do and I had expected Him to work his wonder. Spoke with a lovely woman and her daughter for over an hour (I cannot remember her name for the life of me) she had a very similar past as myself and was so down on herself. I prated with her and gave her encouragement that the Lord was with her and has good thoughts toward her even if it didn't feel like it.

Spoke with another woman name Christina, she had sadness in her eyes, I felt like she was lost. I told her God is here today and his anointing and power is available for her if she wanted it. She accepted my offer of prayer, I grabbed her hands and started praying and I felt God do something, now what was it? I have no clue but felt Him come through me.

So you would think success right? All that hard work paid off, kids smiling and God's love shared but that is not how I felt. I was disappointed like something was suppose to happen, something miraculous. I know God was there a heavy presence I felt but only prayed with 2 people?? Wasn't there suppose to be more? How silly I felt, I expected something but felt like I had gotten nothing. I do not help people to get a reward I do it just because God is good and i want to be good to others so I didn't like this feeling.

Went back to my moms house to see family that has hurt me in the past and being with them God really was able to heal my heart. I had overwhelming love for them and giving them a hug goodbye I held on really tight. Not sure why but I think God was healing me and helping me forgive 100%. No more anger only love and compassion left. Maybe that's where Gods miracle was today?? Maybe his power was in that?? Not sure but that's what I thought.

Had a dream that night Christina was standing in front of me and God's spirit wrapped around her and she was engrossed in white praising God. Woke up in an awesome mood (not like me cause I do not like to be woken up at all I am miss grump) I felt the Lord tell me the miracle happened after you had been gone. You will not always see the miracle but it doesn't mean I "God" didn't do one after you left.

Vessel: a hollow or concave utensil, as a cup, bowl, pitcher, or vase, used for holding liquids or other contents. - We are vessels for God's Spirit and its are job to carry the Spirit and release the Spirit everywhere we go, God then can move anyway he wants.