Fed Up With Fear

Went to dinner with my brother Steve. Broke bread and talked about God all night. Stood outside for a long time chatting about Jesus.

People where around us and I just wanted to bless someone. Felt like it was suppose to be for this girl standing close by. She was around awhile but I didn’t talk to her. Fear stopped me, I repented for it.

Finally I got fed up I was angry with the devil and saw another woman and went up and talked to her.

Her name was Missy.

I asked her: “Are you a holy woman of God?” She said “No” smoking her cigarette. I said “Did you know that you are going to be?” She laughed and looked at me like I was crazy.

I tell her “God has called you to be a prophet for the nations and he wants to bless you.”

She said I could pray for her and I was excited. I prayed for her quickly and she went about her way.

Something in me kicked up I was tired of being afraid, I was tired of caring what other people thought, I was tired of the fear. It doesn’t hurt to ask someone if they need prayer the worst thing they can say is no.

I pray for courage and boldness to pray for others and preach the good news.

Go By My Word Not Your Feelings

I was woken up early and couldn’t sleep (which is odd for me). I thought to myself I can get up and start working on the garage (since we are getting ready to move) I heard God say or you can go worship me. God must have something to tell me. Started praise and worship, repented of selfishness, fear and asked God to change my heart.

Cried out to God about my fear of talking to people and how I wanted to be pleasing to God.

God says: “ I am already pleased with you. Nothing you do can change that I am pleased with you. You have repented (felt him show me actually turning from one path to another) and started walking in the right direction. I am doing fine.

God says: “ You are my daughter I am pleased with you.”

Me: I express my desire to be a soul winner everywhere I go.

God says: “I am pleased with you rather you win souls or not. I want obedience not sacrifices.

Don’t go by how you feel about me go by what I tell you about me in my word. Do you feel like I would never leave you or forsake you?”

Me: No it doesn’t always feel like you are there.

God says: “Remember other times.”

Me: You were always there, you always took care of me.

God says: “The feelings I have given you are special. I can make you feel good but just because you don’t always feel that doesn’t mean I am not there. I will never leave you or forsake you. I mean that and have not changed. Learn what my word says and believe that.”

A Touch From God

On Sunday May 13, 2012 God came down and touched me like he has never touched me before! It was amazing! The church service was about fire and more fire of God. Time for prayer and of course I went up there! You say God wants to bless me or change me and I say I am there!! Touch me God!!

As Sophia was starting to pray I felt God, every word that came from her lips about knocked me down, I could barely stand and she was no where near me. Then she comes up to me touches my head and down I go! I knew that was coming! But I did not expect what came next! I start shaking up uncontrollably. She put her hand on my belly and started praying more and more more I twitched. It did not feel good but it didnt hurt either it was just uncomfortable, kind of like when you get a shock from someone touching you except this was all over my body.

I heard God say I took some of you away and gave you more of me. Oh boy did he! It was amazing, she said she say a flower growing from within me and that its growth was just doubled, it sprouted up out of the dirt! How awesome God is! She then moved on and I continued to shake on the floor, it actually went on all night. I drove home and my daughter was laughing at me because I kept flinching. It was great! A special touch from God! Thank you Lord for taking away me and replacing it with you!

Deliverance

So ever since I learned how to war in tongues I have been on a mission for deliverance for all! Friday night I was with my lovely friend Christianna and her hubby and we made it a praise and worship night with some fighting prayer!!

We start praising the Lord and God never fails he walked right into the room. He came in the form of smoke it was so cloudy in the corner of the room. I would walk into the cloud practically fall over and then walk away, go back into the cloud feel drunk and walk away. It was AWESOME!! Come to find out later Roger said Jesus was standing in the corner talking to him. Hallelujah! God always shows up!! Thank you Jesus!!

Anyway started praying for my friend, she has had a pain in her side and felt it was something she needed deliverance from so we start waring in tongues.

Out of no where my hand just gets on FIRE!! and I mean FIRE!! I have never felt such a thing. I knew the holy ghost wanted to do something. So I placed my hand on her belly and kept praying! All of the sudden my whole arm begin to shake and it was not something I can control!

I told Roger "look look" and he laughed and said "more Lord more". My arm was shaking more and it was even hotter! I now put it on her head and kept praying! More Lord more Lord! I got louder and said I would not leave or stop until this demon came out of her and a few minutes later a scream and cry happened! I then felt peace. It came out. She sobbed but I knew at that moment she was free from a bondage! God came and broke that chain and she finally was released from captivity in that area.

It was AMAZING! She said he gut hurt afterward and she looked like she had been hit by a truck but she really had been hit with the power of God! hehe!

God gave me a vision and showed me her dancing in a beautiful white gown so graceful like a flower blooming! She was beautiful and I believe thats how God saw her!

Thank you Lord a wonderful experience and using my hands as your own! Thank you for freedom! Thank you for mercy and grace! You are ever faithful and I am truly honored to be called your child!

Warring in Tongues

So I learned something new this week at our prayer meeting and it is!! Drum Roll please!!! Waring of the tongues! So I was very excited of course, I feel like I do not know much about the spiritual warfare when it comes to Gods kingdom so this is good stuff!

So its a deep groaning from within when speaking in tongues and I thought okay Im gonna try this! Monday morning I sit down and start speaking in tongues but this time I go longer than usual, I decided I am going to stop when I feel the holy ghost is finished. So I start and keep going and going and I would say about 15 min in the tongues changed. It was deeper, the tone was more desperate. (In my mind I should mention I was like okay God I do not understand this, I cannot control it but go for it, you can stop it if you want) Out of nowhere I started crying but I wasnt sad, I couldnt control it and the tone changed again like the spirit was pleading for something begging for God to do something. This went on for like 15 more min and then I gagged coughed something ugly up and I was done.

Talk about a good morning with God! I do not know what happened but my good friend told me it was travailing in the spirit. I was excited I knew God did something big for someone! Chains feel off! So from now on I make a vow to do this warring of the tongues every day so we can gain some ground in the spirit realm!

Psalm 15

Some words of wisdom from kind David

Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill?

He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks truth from his heart

and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbhor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman,

who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the Lord, who keeps his oath even when it hurts,

who lends his money without usury and does not accept a bribe againse the innocent.

He who does these things will NEVER be shaken.

Fear of Rejection

God has been moving and changing me in a way like no other. Recently it has been to bring things to light that I had forgotten about or it was such a norm I didn't realize what was true and what wasn't or knowing truth but falling back into that nonsense by habit. So a few memories have been kicked back to me and I nearly gasped when they came forth. This one for me is an interesting one yet it made me understand a few things about me.

I think its safe to say its normal to want to fit in as a child or teenager but to what extent would you go to for it? I didn't realize until now that I did a lot of things just to be accepted and that's pretty sad. I made the choice to do these things so there is no blame put off on others that was solely my decision and I have to be accountable for it.

A few things I did to feel accepted:

• Had sex with someone even though I didn't really want to
• Smoked cigarettes
• Drugs (now this was from a feeling of rejection but not from this stand point of wanting to be accepted it was to run away from that pain of someone who had rejected me)
• Lied A LOT!
• Made up stories and exaggerated situations to fit in (used to say I was a stripper)

So I think to myself who does these things? Who actually lies about sinning? Who actually does something they don't want to do because they want to feel accepted? I would say most people but most do not talk about it. I never talked about any of it until now and I blocked some of it out, didn't realize why I did some of it and now the light is shined in this spot and it must be talked about.

I think its pretty sad that I felt I had to even engage or make anything up to feel accepted and whats sadder was I wanted to fit in with people thinking their ways where right knowing they weren't. My goal is now to help others that feel the same way get freedom and to talk about all these things everywhere I go.

God told me a long time ago I am not abnormal a lot of people do these things but never acknowledge it or they said it so much it actually becomes part of their memories. You can definitely reason your with yourself but the truth is still there deep in your heart and I am glad Jesus shined the light so it can come out. Thankfully God has shined some truth into my life and I do not have to be ashamed of any of it. Thankfully he has changed me so I can see these things and say okay this is truth it hurts it sucks but I can not hold onto it anymore and give it to Him. God will now sew up that wound.

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. - John 3:19


Father I pray that all who read this are touched by your truth. That the light be shined in a dark place. We have all felt the sting of rejection but you tell us Jesus was rejected so we can be accepted. So I pray that all who read this and feel rejected be knocked over by your grace, mercy and love. That they feel they are accepted by you who loves them more than anything. I ask that you bring healing to their wounds and show them the love and kindness you have shown me through your Son Jesus. Thank you Lord for the privilege to love and serve such a loving God. In Jesus Name Amen!